Sunday, November 05, 2006

Twenty Letter Words

Well, I sit here pseudointellectually blogging this morning while the rest of the BC Hunt Club is out in the field slaying giant Canadas over the field dekes. So be it.

Today's featured Twenty Letter Word is:


This is the liposuction procedure that "wide Republican-assed" goose hunters undergo to remove extra poundage from their derrières so as to relieve the pressure points on their buttocks while sitting in the goose pits, thereby greatly reducing the painful medical condition of "Post-Hunt Creased Cheeks Hunting Fatigue Syndrome," more familiarly known as bucket butt.

From Brain Garden we learn the following:
In the English lexicon, we have well over one million words to draw from. English is the largest and most dynamic, functional, utilitarian and technological language on the earth. More on this in a moment, but first there is what linguists and theologists, those who love to study words, calls Browns Corpus, it’s a collection of all the words used in today’s English. There are over a million of those words. Now get this, 57% of our million plus words have just four letters or less. For example, words like “the”, “has”, “been”, “and”, “but”, “of” and “have”. But when we create a dictionary of words, words for four or fewer letters, they only represent and account for less than 9% of the entire dictionary. This shows what is called communication deficiency of language. Short words are repeated often and are called “high frequency figures”. Longer words are used sparingly. Less use makes them rare and therefore fewer people know them and that justifies dictionaries to collect and teach them. For every occurrence of a ten letter word in actual communication there are eight occurrences of the letter words and for every occurrence of a twenty letter word there are three thousand five hundred and twenty four occurrences of a three letter word.
The lesson here is that as we seek to expand our minds and our vocabulary, we must also seek at the same time to reduce our wide Republican butts to achieve total harmony of mind and body, yin and yang, oral and anal.

Although I cannot be in the goose pits this morning, I am with you all in spirit. I wish you happy hunting and fatigue-free fannies. May all your geese fly low. May your one shot kills be undisputed.


Ernie said...

Thank you for proving that I have 3,524 different ways, using 4 letter words, to say the same thing you do. Please note that in some cases I even choose to use the numericle version rather than waste time alphabetising each one.
Anyways we surely missed your entertainment value in the blind this weekend. While your absence was missed there was an even better shot that took your place. That's right my buddy Big Jim, you know the 70 year old gentelman with no stomach and recovering from Cancer surgery for it's removal, stood you up like a blind date. Jim had an oppertunity that only comes along a couple of times in a lifetime, and took advantage of it. Will sitting on his tired boney ass on a bucket he took aim at 2 canadian geese and droped both of them with one shot. I have never seen you do that even with backup. And yes the canadians were giants this weekend. At least 5 of the 12 birds that were taken to fill our limits were some of the biggest geese I have ever seen. As for the butt end of things none of us were there long enough to get a sore one. We were off the buckets and out of there by 9:00. With that in mind it was probably a good thing that you didn't have to drive such a long way for such a short hunt. We still missed you though and hpe you can make it this week.

Jim Tantillo said...

I'd love to be there this coming weekend, but Wendy is leaving for South Carolina on Saturday for five days, so I don't know if I can do it. I may be able to put in a few hours Saturday morning, I'll check with her when she gets back from NYC tomorrow night.

On the entertainment front we saw Kathy Mattea on Saturday night and Lewis Black on Sunday night. It was a couple of late nights.

Anyone want to see Wonderful Town on Saturday night? I can probably get you tickets. :-)