I would criticize Jefe for posting so much so quickly ...

... if the quality of his found objects weren't so frickin' amazing!

Don't know if this tops any of his recent stuff but it might ... just might ... BLOW YOUR MIND:

Comic of the day

from http://wondermark.com

Green Has Never Felt So Right

Audi's ironic and satirical libertarian anti-environazi Super Bowl ad for its new green diesel vehicles is raising a lot of eyebrows.

One of the better ads to come along in a while.



You should all go diesel . . . you sinners.

What they're eating in T'burg

Venison Stew, Old-Fashioned. as easy and as good as it gets.

1-2 pounds venison stew meat, browned in pan searing flour
4-5 red potatoes cubed
2-3 carrots sliced
2-4 onions diced
1/2 bag frozen peas (or fresh if you can get them)
1 to 2 cups beef broth (enough to almost cover meat and veggies in pot)
1/2 cup red wine
1/4 cup sherry
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp Kitchen Bouquet
1/4 tsp tyme
2 bay leaves

Combine all ingredients in crockpot, cook on high 7-8 hours. When done, add a splash of heavy cream, light cream, or half and half to thicken it up. Serve over egg noodles. Yummy.

More Faculty Acting Badly, Part 2

Not sure any of us could get away with this. From Deadspin.com :

NYU Business School Professor Has Mastered The Art Of Email Flaming

A student at NYU's Stern School of Business sent a complaint email to a hard-headed professor about his class's lateness policy. The professor emailed back, eviscerated the student David Mamet-style, and now it's gone viral. Welcome to internet immorality.

Professor Scott Galloway — founder of redenvelope.com — has a reputation for being a self-important "jackass" and appears to have adopted the phrase "get your shit together" as his personal carpe diem. He was also on the New York Times board of directors before resigning last week. He also has a little William Wallace in him.

Regardless, I'm quite impressed with his craftsmanship in taking this budding, entitled entrepreneur down a few notches. I emailed Galloway for comment, but he's a little confused about "what email you're referring to." So I get the sense that he's done this sort of thing before. According to one friend-of-a-friend of an NYU student who received the email, Galloway initiated the forwarding: "To give a little background, Scott Galloway is a professor at NYU Stern School of Business. He was also the founder of RedEnvelope.com. He teaches a Brand Management class at the school. Anyway, the student below sent him an e-mail to which Prof. Galloway responded. Galloway then proceeded to send it to his TA and instructed him to XXXX out the student's name and then forward it to the rest of the class. The e-mail now appears to be making the rounds."

Galloway has yet to confirm if he sent it to his TA who then forwarded it to his class. Either way, enjoy the BOOM BITCH-iness of this thing in its proper context. It has a very "Always Wear Sunscreen"-type appeal to it, if you choose to forget that Professor Galloway might be kind of a dick .

Sent: Tuesday, February 9, 2010 7:15:11 PM GMT -08:00 US/Canada Pacific
Subject: Brand Strategy Feedback

Prof. Galloway,

I would like to discuss a matter with you that bothered me. Yesterday evening I entered your 6pm Brand Strategy class approximately 1 hour late. As I entered the room, you quickly dismissed me, saying that I would need to leave and come back to the next class. After speaking with several students who are taking your class, they explained that you have a policy stating that students who arrive more than 15 minutes late will not be admitted to class.

As of yesterday evening, I was interested in three different Monday night classes that all occurred simultaneously. In order to decide which class to select, my plan for the evening was to sample all three and see which one I like most. Since I had never taken your class, I was unaware of your class policy. I was disappointed that you dismissed me from class considering (1) there is no way I could have been aware of your policy and (2) considering that it was the first day of evening classes and I arrived 1 hour late (not a few minutes), it was more probable that my tardiness was due to my desire to sample different classes rather than sheer complacency.

I have already registered for another class but I just wanted to be open and provide my opinion on the matter.

Regards,
xxxx

—
xxxx
MBA 2010 Candidate
NYU Stern School of Business
xxxx.nyu.edu
xxx-xxx-xxxx

The Reply:

—— Forwarded Message ——-
From: scott@stern.nyu.edu
To: "xxxx"
Sent: Tuesday, February 9, 2010 9:34:02 PM GMT -08:00 US/Canada Pacific
Subject: Re: Brand Strategy Feedback

xxxx:

Thanks for the feedback. I, too, would like to offer some feedback.

Just so I've got this straight...you started in one class, left 15-20 minutes into it (stood up, walked out mid-lecture), went to another class (walked in 20 minutes late), left that class (again, presumably, in the middle of the lecture), and then came to my class. At that point (walking in an hour late) I asked you to come to the next class which "bothered" you.

Correct?

You state that, having not taken my class, it would be impossible to know our policy of not allowing people to walk in an hour late. Most risk analysis offers that in the face of substantial uncertainty, you opt for the more conservative path or hedge your bet (e.g., do not show up an hour late until you know the professor has an explicit policy for tolerating disrespectful behavior, check with the TA before class, etc.). I hope the lottery winner that is your recently crowned Monday evening Professor is teaching Judgement and Decision Making or Critical Thinking.

In addition, your logic effectively means you cannot be held accountable for any code of conduct before taking a class. For the record, we also have no stated policy against bursting into show tunes in the middle of class, urinating on desks or taking that revolutionary hair removal system for a spin. However, xxxx, there is a baseline level of decorum (i.e., manners) that we expect of grown men and women who the admissions department have deemed tomorrow's business leaders.

xxxx, let me be more serious for a moment. I do not know you, will not know you and have no real affinity or animosity for you. You are an anonymous student who is now regretting the send button on his laptop. It's with this context I hope you register pause...REAL pause xxxx and take to heart what I am about to tell you:

xxxx, get your shit together.

Getting a good job, working long hours, keeping your skills relevant, navigating the politics of an organization, finding a live/work balance...these are all really hard, xxxx. In contrast, respecting institutions, having manners, demonstrating a level of humility...these are all (relatively) easy. Get the easy stuff right xxxx. In and of themselves they will not make you successful. However, not possessing them will hold you back and you will not achieve your potential which, by virtue of you being admitted to Stern, you must have in spades. It's not too late xxxx...

Again, thanks for the feedback.

Professor Galloway

There you have it. The take-home lesson: get your shit together.

Grouse Camp Mouse Control

here's a video for all you full-utilization-of-the-resource mouse thumb puppet fans out there. Enjoy.

Faculty Acting Badly

Here's a neat item from the office of our beloved attorney general, Mr. Andrew Cuomo. This is how to get yourself OFF the hook for scientific misconduct and then how NOT to profit by doing so.

Remember, kids: "The charges against Fals-Stewart are merely accusations, and the defendant is presumed innocent until and unless proven guilty."

Enjoy.

CUOMO ANNOUNCES CHARGES AGAINST FORMER UB RESEARCHER FOR HIRING ACTORS TO TESTIFY DURING MISCONDUCT HEARING AND ATTEMPTING TO SIPHON $4 MILLION IN TAXPAYER FUNDS

Cuomo’s office uncovers elaborate series of fraudulent actions after researcher sued New York state seeking monetary damages ~ William Fals-Stewart charged with attempted grand larceny, multiple counts of perjury and identity theft

BUFFALO, NY (February 16, 2010) - Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo today announced criminal charges against a former University at Buffalo researcher who allegedly hired professional actors to portray real people who were familiar with his projects to testify on his behalf during a formal misconduct hearing. The researcher, who was exonerated of the misconduct because of the false testimonies, then attempted to seek $4 million from the state for monetary damages.

“The charges in this case allege a pattern of lies and deceit that a public employee used to attempt to defraud New York’s taxpayers of millions of dollars,” said Attorney General Cuomo. ‘The brazen crimes allegedly committed by this individual outline a series of frauds that could have damaged our outstanding SUNY system. New Yorkers demand and deserve integrity from State employees and with this prosecution we will work to restore that trust in public service.”

In September 2004, William Fals-Stewart, 48, of Eden, was accused of scientific misconduct for allegedly fabricating data in federally funded studies he was undertaking as an employee at the University at Buffalo and Research Institute on Addictions. According to court papers, the allegations were based upon discrepancies between the number of volunteers he reported to the National Institute for Drug Addiction relating to grants for which Fals-Stewart was the Principal Investigator, and the actual number of volunteers who participated in his studies.

According to the felony complaint, during a subsequent formal investigation launched by the University, three witnesses testified by telephone because Fals-Stewart claimed they were out of town. In reality, they were actors who thought they were taking part in a mock-trial. Fals-Stewart paid the actors to testify. He also provided them with scripts to use during the proceedings that were riddled with inaccuracies regarding his research. Fals-Stewart told the three actors, who he had hired before for legitimate training videos, that they would be performing in a mock trial training exercise. They were not aware that they were testifying at a real administrative hearing, nor did they know they were impersonating real people. Because of these false testimonies, Fals-Stewart was exonerated at the administrative hearing.

Claiming that the misconduct allegations tarnished his reputation, Fals-Stewart sued the University, seeking $4 million from the state in damages. The Office of the Attorney General, in its role of defending the University and the state in the court action, conducted a thorough investigation of the claims against the University. It was during this investigation that Cuomo’s office discovered the alleged fraud, forced Fals-Stewart to withdraw his lawsuit and initiated a criminal investigation.

Fals-Stewart was arrested today and charged in Buffalo City Court with Attempted Grand Larceny in the First Degree (class C felony); three counts of Perjury in the First Degree (class D felony); three counts of Identity Theft in the First Degree (class D felony); two counts of Offering a False Instrument for Filing in the First Degree (class E felony); and three counts of Falsifying Business Records in the First Degree (class E felony). The maximum permissible sentence for a class C felony is 15 years in prison.

Attorney General Cuomo thanked Dr. Nancy L. Zimpher, Chancellor of the State University of New York and her staff for assisting in the investigation.

The criminal case is being prosecuted by Assistant Attorney General-in-Charge of the Buffalo Regional Office Russell T. Ippolito, Jr. under the supervision of Deputy Attorney General for Regional Affairs J. David Sampson and Deputy Bureau Chief of the Criminal Prosecutions Bureau Richard Ernst. The investigation was handled by Investigator Paul R. Scherf under the supervision of Deputy Chief Investigator James Domres.

The charges against Fals-Stewart are merely accusations, and the defendant is presumed innocent until and unless proven guilty.

Ice fishing- an alternative to QDM

A few risk averse land lubber grousers [ ;0] opted out of a day on the ice. Ya'll were missed... T'was a nice outing. Yet, as much as I missed the "low banter" of "sense of place," the distinctions between method and methodology, the merits of merrily shooting mercury infested waterfowl, and the inherent dangers to culture and society of being selective about the bucks one shoots, there was a distinct pleasure to be found in the solitary, slow jigging for one's dinner. No booze, no cigars--just a strong North wind and 5 inches of ice under the ironic comforts of 10 pound pac boots. And dinner was pickerel and perch.

Eric brought his daughter Danielle, Gary his daughters as well. see the Kuneytown blog for pics of the kids taking great pride in the catch.

The next step for Quality Deer Management?

cross-posted from the Fair Chase hunting blog:

This op-ed piece just appeared in today's New York Times. Perhaps the uber-breeding of big-racked, pain-free deer is just what the doctor ordered to keep anti-hunters at bay in the never-ending fight to protect hunting's future. What do you all think??

February 19, 2010

Op-Ed Contributor

Not Grass-Fed, but at Least Pain-Free

By ADAM SHRIVER

St. Louis

IN the 35 years since Peter Singer’s book “Animal Liberation” was published, jump-starting the animal rights movement in the United States, the number of animals used in cosmetics testing and scientific research has dropped significantly, and the number of dogs and cats killed in shelters has fallen by more than half. Nevertheless, because the amount of red meat that Americans eat per capita has held steady at more than 100 pounds a year as the population has increased, more animals than ever suffer from injuries and stress on factory farms.

Veal calves and gestating sows are so confined as to suffer painful bone and joint problems. The unnatural high-grain diets provided in feedlots cause severe gastric distress in many animals. And faulty or improperly used stun guns cause the painful deaths of thousands of cows and pigs a year.

We are most likely stuck with factory farms, given that they produce most of the beef and pork Americans consume. But it is still possible to reduce the animals’ discomfort — through neuroscience. Recent advances suggest it may soon be possible to genetically engineer livestock so that they suffer much less.

This prospect stems from a new understanding of how mammals sense pain. The brain, it turns out, has two separate pathways for perceiving pain: a sensory pathway that registers its location, quality (sharp, dull or burning, for example) and intensity, and a so-called affective pathway that senses the pain’s unpleasantness. This second pathway appears to be associated with activation of the brain’s anterior cingulate cortex, because people who have suffered damage to this part of the brain still feel pain but no longer find it unpleasant. (The same is true of people who are given morphine, because there are more receptors for opiates in the affective pain pathway than in the sensory pain pathway.)

Neuroscientists have found that by damaging a laboratory rat’s anterior cingulate cortex, or by injecting the rat with morphine, they can likewise block its affective perception of pain. The rat reacts to a heated cage floor by withdrawing its paws, but it doesn’t bother avoiding the places in its cage where it has learned the floor is likely to be heated up.

Recently, scientists have learned to genetically engineer animals so that they lack certain proteins that are important to the operation of the anterior cingulate cortex. Prof. Min Zhuo and his colleagues at the University of Toronto, for example, have bred mice lacking enzymes that operate in affective pain pathways. When these mice encounter a painful stimulus, they withdraw their paws normally, but they do not become hypersensitive to a subsequent painful stimulus, as ordinary mice do.

Prof. Zhou-Feng Chen and his colleagues here at Washington University have engineered mice so that they lack the gene for a peptide associated with the anterior cingulate gyrus. Like the animals given brain lesions, these mice are normally sensitive to heat and mechanical pain, but they do not avoid situations where they experience such pain.

Given the similarity among all mammals’ neural systems, it is likely that scientists could genetically engineer pigs and cows in the same way. Because the sensory dimension of the animals’ pain would be preserved, they would still be able to recognize and avoid, when possible, situations where they might be bruised or otherwise injured.

The people who consumed meat from such genetically engineered livestock would also be safe. Knockout animals have specific proteins removed, rather than new ones inserted, so there’s no reason to think that their meat would pose more health risks for humans than ordinary meat does.

If we cannot avoid factory farms altogether, the least we can do is eliminate the unpleasantness of pain in the animals that must live and die on them. It would be far better than doing nothing at all.

Adam Shriver is a doctoral student in the philosophy-neuroscience-psychology program at Washington University.

Or maybe we can develop tougher, pain-free deer THIS way

Perhaps this is a better technique to adapt to create tougher, higher quality deer. well, it's a thought, anyway.

warning: graphic material. Kids do not try this at home.

Quality Deer Management: A Risk-Averse View

Will bigger, higher-quality deer lead to more traffic fatalities? From today's CNN postings.

Added On February 19, 2010

Nashville police say a deer crashed through the windshield of a car and killed a young girl. WKRN reports.



A risk-averse argument for smaller, scrawnier 80-pound deer. Makes the eating of toxic-laden ducks seem positively harmless.

More QDM

The comments discussing this video at http://www.snotr.com/video/2772 are terrific.

Who Killed Bambi?

Well, this has been Bambi week in Nature and Culture. Two great showings of this fantastic film, which along with the Cornell swim test is one of the two Cornell activities I firmly believe should be mandatory in order for students to graduate from college.

Then again, I am the same college instructor who got this hate mail last year:

"While reading the online article about the 11 year old boy who shot his stepmother and her unborn baby, I came upon your ridiculous quote. This quote sounds as if it is coming from a serial killer not a college professor...not that teachng 'environment philosophy' qualifies you as a professor. You are a dangerous person to be projecting your warped views onto age 20 something students."

So maybe my judgment can't be trusted. At any rate, in an ideal world the advanced Bambi course would include hermeneutic ekphrasis of this song by Edward Tudor-Pole and the Sex Pistols, circa 1978. Enjoy.

More on Quality Deer Management

The Vicar and I are both working our way through Marc Boglioli's A Matter of Life and Death: Hunting in Contemporary Vermont. (Of course Rico is reading it for work; I am reading it for recreation.)

Be that as it may . . . Boglioli has some interesting things to say about, ahem, "Quality Deer Management." Perhaps we can get a rise out of Cagey with this one. heh heh

Boglioli writes:

"While QDM may be an unqualified success for deer management in Vermont, it could well alter local meanings of hunting because of its emphasis on 'the trophy.' Most hunters, while certainly not opposed to the idea of bagging a 'Rackasaurus' on opening day, are thrilled to bring home any deer at all. If it happens to be unusually large, or has a trophy rack, so much the better. But QDM is a different philosophy. It focuses on the size of the deer and/or its rack as a way of determining the value of a hunting experience. This thought first crossed my mind when I initially learned about QDM in 2002 r 2003, and it was emphasized again in a conversation with a Vermont game warden in 2004, who said, 'The cultural perception of hunting has gone from process to product. . . . They're taking the hunt out of hunting.' A man at a local deer camp shared similar sentiments and pointed out (even though he agreed that it might be good for growing bigger deer) that QDM was a completely different approach from what he referred to as the Vermont 'family' hunting tradition, which is not oriented around a quest for trophy bucks but rather around the love of fresh venison, the enjoyment of family and friends, and the chance to spend some time in the woods rather than at work. Considering how many times I have heard hunters say 'You can't eat the horns,' I think this guy had a point." (p. 29)

Well, what do you think? Does QDM, Earn-a-Buck programs, and the like "take the hunt out of hunting"? Do we risk altering the "family hunting tradition" if we change the focus of hunting from process to product? Is this the end of hunting as we know it?

Discuss.

When hunting is outlawed, only outlaws will hunt

Smell like a man, man

Since I know Keith is fond of posting manly men commercials about that catpiss he calls beer, I think it's only right to post this commercial that will help us all get in touch with our inner Cabin Boy.

"We're not saying this body wash will make your man smell into a romantic millionaire jet fighter pilot, but we are insinuating it."

Grouse Camp 2010

Now that we're making our fall plans and since Cagey was complaining last week that there is as yet no grouse camp plan for 2010 (I quote, "Is there even going to BE a grouse camp?" he asks), I am promulgating the following dates for grouse camp 2010:

The week of the Columbus Day (October 11) holiday, or roughly the period from Friday October 8 through Sunday October 17.

I know the interesting part of the conversation remains, whether to hunt Maine or Wisconsin. I will remain silent on that question for now. Let the planning begin.

lookit the size of those friggin' grouse . . .

Why do you hunt?

Here's an activity for all you thoughtful hunters who think about hunting. Eric Nuse has a "why do I hunt" thread going on over at the Fair Chase blog (I'm also a member there--think 'search for magic treasure'). So far the early responses are very interesting. I thought maybe some of you would like to try your hand at articulating the 'why' of why you hunt. Anyway, fyi.

GROUSERS SECRET LIVES

Nice Tiaras guys or is it girls?

So the question is beauty queens or Drag Queens

let the debate begin.

"This is This"--The Conely Edition, or "How to Improve your shooting percentage", or "That new RGS biologist is doing a fine job"

Sunday afternoon, temperature finally in the double digits.
Let's take the dog out to celebrate.
A spot known to famous grousers, with the suffix "Hollow".

Working through a thick stand of pines, low alders to my right.
Conley gets birdy in the thickest of the thick. Snow covered brushpiles.
Wirrrrrrr...sound of a grouse flushing. Close, and sounding like it did not fly far.
Looking for it in a tree. Nope.
Dog returning to me with live bird in his mouth.
Hmmmm....good boy. I think so, anyway. What's a fella to do?

Why we don't hunt certain bird species . . .

Easily the funniest book of the year

Every now and then I run across a book review on amazon that I wish I had written. Meat lovers among you should appreciate this one. The following was someone's review for Carol Adams's book, The Pornography of Meat. Enjoy!

easily the funniest book i've read all year,

May 31, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: The Pornography of Meat (Hardcover)

if christopher guest ever set out to do - in a book about intellectuals - what he has done on film to rock bands and dog shows, The Pornography of Meat would be the result. here is a book that is so bizzarely and feverishly "leftist" that it seems to defy all reason. the book is a carnival of anti-meat, anti-porn, and anti-man rhetoric that may or may not be true. but, honestly, i can't tell you whether or not it is, because i can't wade through this text seriously. it looks SO MUCH like it was written to act as a parody, that i have a difficult time approaching it as actual scholarship. the basic idea seems to be something like this: there is a distinct and provable relationship between the consumption of meat (or at least media depictions thereof) and the consumption of pornographic movies/magazines, etc.. this all presumably builds from the logic of her first book The Sexual Politics of Meat, which i do not own.

the unquestionable highlight of the book are the many pictures that are offered up as evidence of this sordid relationship between porn and meat: the adult video cover where the female character is "hunted" by lustful men, the 30 year old ad for turkey where the bird carcass is layed out in what we are assured is a purposefully lurid pose. the whole thing is really sort of - excuse the pun - undigestable from the point of view of the skeptic. of course, if you're already a zealous, fervid, wild eyed supporter of these sorts of ideas, then this book will be very gratifying. girls with hairy armpits at liberal-arts colleges in vermont are going to be carrying this around like it was the Bible. the only thing that's missing (though perhaps it's there and i just missed it) was a way to tie all of this in with good old fashioned socialism. you know, the oppression of the masses by the ruling elite? the great future that is bound to come when the terror of property is destroyed and we all live on a big hug-a-bear commune and make arts and crafts and uncomfortable itchy hemp shirts? well, other than that, this book is an angry liberals wet dream.

look, let me speak honestly: i'm a man. i don't think of myself as a part of a patriarchy, or as an oppressor or rapist, or even as a good speller. and i do eat meat. plus, i'm a libertarian, which means that everyone regards me as a "conservative". so, you know, this book obviously wasn't written for me. i appreciate and identify with feminists, but books like this give them a bad name. maybe a book like this is supposed to be so "revolutionary" that it shocks everyone out of their dogmatic slumbers, but it just comes of as fanatical and - worse - flaky. so, take my ill-informed phallocentric egodriven opinion for what it's worth. read this book. if i'm wrong, WHICH EVEN AS A QUASI-CONSERVATIVE I CAN ADMIT THAT I MIGHT BE, then this book will be very informative. if i'm right, then you're bound to find this as entertaining as i did.

High Life - Here's to the Little Guy

Let's see your Raspberry Lambic, Blue Moon, granola crunch yuppie beers do THIS! Down with beer snobbery and elitism-- muckety-mucks. Power to the people. Go Saints.

Get Your Hunting Gear Reviews at Newsweek

Run, Bambi, Run! Run Like the Wind!

In which our correspondent puts his thumb on the scales in the eternal contest of predator vs. prey.

Well, at least one elite mainstream media type is willing to step up and provide some helpful reporting for us Grousers. Hooray for Mr. Tuttle!

The only way to hunt elk . . .

with a spear. Man up.

Therapy by tautology - a draft

Forced myself up the mountain this morning to hunt familiar coverts. I sought therapy from an imbalance between career focus and the remainder of life's meanings.

Forty degrees and three inches of melting snow, sun just cresting the ridge top. Grouse flushed to my right even before we left the car. We found the terminus of the bird's tracks, dog wild with fresh scent. Off we trudged, through pine stand, bar berry thicket and witch hazel meadow.

I followed grouse tracks, none as fresh as the ones we first encountered. An old compulsion, my zen quest. The dog, olympic marathoner, was also drawn to the old tracks, crossing them but never anchored to them as was I. Several points but no birds.

We crossed fresh porcupine tracks in the snow. Sweat, snow, thick cover.

Finally, fresh grouse tracks. Dog locked in point. Nothing. Dog relocated, then moving in slow motion, thick scent slowing her to a creep.

The fresh tracks continued, intermittent but persistent. An uhurried bird, flying 10 feet then walking. We circled the enormous covert, following a single set of fresh tracks it seemed. The hunt drew us back toward the car. A final point. I swung around, wide, only to find the spot where a grouse had flushed, two hours prior, and a stressed out hunter and dog had investigated its terminal sign.

Successful hunt

Ducks and geese by the numbers... 3rd installment

After a few days off to catch up on work, Eric and I spent some time scouting and rounded up the Team Terminator Goose Rig. The last two days of the season needed to be special, and with the iced up lakes and very cold temps, no hunt was going to be a "gimme." We settled on one of the Lott fields that had a mix of beans and corn in strips. This field was quite large, and had piles of tree trunks in it here and there where hedge rows had recently been torn out (see photo to left). We used these and the 6-8 inches of snow to our advantage as we set the ambush. As usual, we limited the number of hunters to minimize concealment problems and maximize joy. George and Dave were with us both days, and Bob joined the last day.

On Saturday, we had four hunters and four limits, 12 Canada geese for the smoker. On Sunday, the final day, which was clearer and less windy, we managed 5 geese in the bag, capitalizing on every opportunity, though few and far between. All in all, the second half was an exceptionally good season for geese and ducks, considering the frozen lake. If you were willing to scout, be mobile, and work at it, the rewards were there to be earned. Better than gold medals or bronze stars, we earned mercury traces, which we will wear proudly, boldly, inevitably. Thanks to Dave for taking pictures.

Yoda

Friends

Well, just back from the last goose hunt of the year. All in all, an excellent late season was had by all. Ernie and company proved to be terrific hosts as always, and we broke in a new B.C. Hunt Club member as the Path Walker put in an appearance on Friday at the Dozer Pile.

Nine of us that day slew fifteen geese, and then I think I can say I speak for all grousers that we were honored to be present when Ernie called us together to celebrate the life of Big Jim. I also don't think I was alone in fighting back tears as Ernie spread Jim's ashes on the pile (along with some toe warmers).

Anyway. My thanks to Ernie and Mike for making it all possible. In Dozer Pile We Trust.

Friends do things together
La, La, La, La

Jenny

Taking the plunge boyz!!

SJ

Wendy's Honkin' Good Jerky

I know Josh will appreciate this post, because Josh knows jerky.

I recently inherited a considerable amount of goose flesh, some of which I had a direct hand in collecting, the rest of which I influenced indirectly.

Anyway, I've spent the better part of the past couple of days trimming, bagging, marinating, and drying. Several batches of goose jerky later, I can confidently say the following recipe is a winner. The folks at CrossFit Ithaca dubbed this "Wendy's Honkin' Good Jerky":

Take a box 'o goose flesh
Pull out 1 to 5 pounds of flesh from the box
Trim the flesh of fat and sinew

Place flesh in freezer for 30 minutes to aid with slicing
Remove partially frozen flesh from freezer, slice cross-grain into 1/8" to 1/4" pre-jerky strips

Pre-soak pre-jerky strips in a brine of Morton's Tender Quick for 1 - 2 hours if desired

Mix the following for marinade:
1 cup teriyaki sauce
1/4 cup hoisin sauce (THIS IS THE SECRET INGREDIENT)
2 tsp Chinese five-spice powder

That's the base recipe and will make "honkin' good jerky" as is; the next batch I make is going to get more in the way of hot pepper spices; the batch currently drying has wasabi and fresh ginger added.

Rinse brined meat with cold fresh water, add meat to the marinade in plastic bag, and marinate as long as your patience can stand it: 6 to 24 hours.

Put your pre-jerky strips in a dehydrator and have at it. Six to eight hours later you'll have "Honkin' Good Jerky."

Alternatively, one could fire up their Bradley Smoker and cook it that way. Not really necessary, but could be good.

Path Walker's in the 'hood

Had the pleasure of hosting a surprise drop-in breakfast visit from the Path Walker this morning. He had just dropped his kids off at daycare and was "in the neighborhood." (jeezum, Hector sure seems smaller these days.)

Anyway, we feasted on oatmeal and maple venison sausage (courtesy a la Tidball '08) and discoursed upon subjects varied and far-ranging, including the weather, goose decoys, yearling setters, deer loads, diesel trucks, RGS habitat planning, Canoga tribal politics, late-season wood ducks, snow tires, real estate values, whoa barrels, the efficacy of goose pits over other modes of camouflage . . . as I said, subjects varied and far-ranging.

At any rate, it's great to welcome Mr. Weik back to the Ithaca area, and I'm sure we're ALL looking forward to the miracles he is going to work when it comes to increasing grouse and woodcock populations in New York State.

Path Walker, far right
(Safari, when are you moving to Ithaca?)

Vegan turned hunter

One of the topics in the goose pits this last week was the attractiveness of hunting to vegetarians, vegans, and members of other "health foods"-related demographic groups.

As luck would have it, I just got word of a new blog and website put together by a former vegan now-turned-hunter. Check it out at http://www.tovarcerulli.com/ .

New Year's Day

Satiated by yesterday's goose hunt and tired from the Kuneytown revelries, we lounged until late morning. Performed farm chores in the mid-day, then finally made it to the Hector Grouse woods around 3. Three pm that is (an important distinction for the die-hard waterfowlers). Lilly hunted well, but no birds were encountered. Retract that statement. There's always a truck bird. At 5:15, guns unloaded and 10 yards from the car, a lone grouse flushed. May there always be another truck bird. Happy 2010 Grousers.

Ducks and geese by the numbers... 2nd installment

In this second installment of ducks and geese by the numbers, I again report on 2 hunts; a minimalist field hunt in Hoster's field with the Vicar and a spectacular New Year's Eve waterfowl hunting outing with Dr. Dirt, the Vicar, Eric and myself.

The field hunt at Hoster's was intended to be a highly mobile, minimalist effort. We placed a half dozen field geese decoys and a half dozen field mallard decoys, complimented by two mojos, one on a pole and one on the ground, at the North end of an island of woods. The wind was strong out of the west. Shortly after first light, we shot our first pair of mallards, on of which had a band. The birds flew relatively well, and despite my bad gun karma, we ended up with 5 ducks.

The New Year's Eve Hunt was a bit more exceptional. Eric and I had scouted hard the day before and prepared the Goose Rig in anticipation of a high-expectation reunion of Grousers [footnote, Chief Grouser Tantillo was in the neighborhood but with the Dozer Death Boys (Beer Camp) hunting party]. Because there are stories to be told about this hunt from the perspectives of the hunters (which I hope will be forthcoming) I will simply report that we shot 15 Canada geese and 2 mallards. More mercury for all. A picture and short film taken by Pete can serve as a trailer for the other reporters. Thanks for the camera work Pete!

I like guns

for your musical appreciation. enjoy.

Ducks and geese by the numbers... 1st installment

All risk-averse chatter aside, we have now put 20 ducks and 3 geese into the collective larder, as of the end of day 2. Yesterday's field hunt on Kuneytown land was a duck hunter's dream, where Rich blooded his new SXS shotgun and I happily pounded out long and lethal shots with my SXS 10 gauge. Today's hunt on the Moorehouse ponds was slower but Eric, making up for lackluster shooting yesterday, made every opportunity count and came away with a limit of mallards and geese. I had to console myself in the knowledge that I contributed with some effective, memorable and satisfying calling, and Brant made some really nice retrieves.

Having taken into consideration the Tantillo theorem, the Canoga Christmas included a brand new Bradley smoker... so soon, as was so convincingly argued and advocated for by the good Doctor,we will be sharing mercury poisoning with gleeful abandon across the land. Stay tuned for more updates.

how to tell your family loves you on Christmas morning

for the new huntin' truck

so I got THIS goin' for me . . . which is nice

later in the day . . .

perfect for road huntin'

sluicing partridges out of pear trees since 1993

Get off your ath let's do some math

Let's do the risk-averse math, shall we?

In the comments section of a noted internet blog a famous grouser has written:

"So much for the 'skewing by merganser/trash duck' argument. Makes it hard to justify 100 + bird seasons and the dedication required- also makes it hard on a Chesapeake Bay Retriever."

Let's do the math, shall we? The famous grouser's wife has helpfully provided information from the NYS Dept. of Health, to wit:

Thou shalt not eat more than two waterfowl per month. (I paraphrase. The exact quote is: "• You eat no more than two waterfowl per month.")

ASSUMPTIONS:
Let us assume a family of four.

Furthermore, the Health Dept. gives no indication of whether we're talking big ducks or little ducks. Let us therefore also assume a smallish mallard as the norm, with teal and wood ducks on the low end of the weight curve and largish mallards on the high end of the weight curve.

Moreover, the NYS Dept of Health does not indicate whether the "eat no more than two per month" dictum is for individuals or spread out at dinner parties for 100 guests. I therefore will assume it is for individuals. (I have in my mind as the ideal individual an image of a cranky old bachelor who lives only to duck hunt and who lives alone. He probably drinks a lot. Perhaps he has a dog. For mathematical purposes, it matters not.)

Finally, let us assume that the famous grouser is in possession of a freezer, and that once reduced to possession, the possessed ducks of said grouser do not put him in violation of waterfowl possession limits once said possessed waterfowl have been reduced to Saran Wrap.

MATH:
Two waterfowl per month is 24 waterfowl per year. For ease of addition, let us round up to 25 per year and hope that the twenty fifth waterfowl is an extra-small wood duck.

Famous grouser is thus entitled to eat 25 ducks a year. Famous grouser is married; his wife is thus allowed 25 ducks a year. (following me so far?)

Famous grouser has two kids. Let us say that they shall split an adult portion of 25 annual ducks two ways; or, 12.5 ducks per duck-loving child.

We are up to 75 ducks per year.

But wait!! we're not done.

Let us assume the grouser and his wife like to entertain, and that they occasionally serve (gasp), duck! at their familial and friendly functions. Let us say that the entire list of duck-lucky guests who are treated to duck dinners or appetizers in the famous grouser's home gets to split another individual allotment of 25 ducks. (I believe that this is a conservative number, given the famous grouser's penchant for entertaining.)

We are now up to 100 ducks per year.

I think it is safe to say that the famous grouser will occasionally hunt with his less duck-lucky friends, sharing the wet and cold pine seats in his duck blind. I think it is also safe to say that the famous grouser will sometimes, with a nonchalant wave of his hand, allow his departing duck-luckless friends to leave with one or more ducks-of-the-day so that they may spread the good cheer and mercury poisoning to their friends and family, wherever they may live.

I will allot this last group of duck-luckless friends an additional individual annual allotment of 25 mercury-laden ducks to be spread amongst themselves. Lucky devils.

At 125 ducks per year, we are now facing the limits of what a sporting waterfowler can responsibly harvest and consume. If the famous grousing waterfowler would like to add 25 more retrieves to the total, you know, "for the dog's sake" on those quiet days when edible ducks ain't flying, we will allow 25 more "bonus trash ducks" to be added to the annual total but not consumed by humans or pigs.

Perhaps we can grind up the mergs , diving ducks, grebes (if you're name is Illegal Reigel), coots, and other retrieved specimens to serve as tasty dog treats.

kids, don't eat this duck at home

So I think we can legally and ethically get our famous grouser up to 150 ducks annually retrieved for his Chesapeake Bay Retriever and stay within the guidelines posted by the all-knowing and all-benevolent NYS Dept of Health.

Beyond 150 ducks per year, if it is dedication and dog retrieves we care about, then I will allow that some of the famous grouser's friends be allowed to claim waterfowl that they believe to have shot and take them home as appropriate. Now, I know famous grousers like to claim every kill as their own, so I will limit the collective take of non-famous grousers to be split amongst themselves to another conservative individual allotment of 25 annual ducks.

I believe we are up to 175 ducks harvested per year, and harvested safely, ethically, and risk-aversely. If someone wishes to kill more than 175 ducks per year, perhaps we simply might condemn that individual as a good old-fashioned game hog. (I'm just sayin' . . . . )

As numbers are not my metier, you may wish to check my math and run the data your own way to form your own conclusions.

CONCLUSIONS:
My conclusion? I think the following statement, "Makes it hard to justify 100 + bird seasons and the dedication required," is only so much whining and sour grapes.

;-)

Time for some famous grouse.

Now that deer hunting is over . . .

time to move on to ice fishing.



Ice fishing. Not for sissies.

Can we please focus on nature?

As much as I enjoyed learning about the Chrysler Turbo Encabulator from the last post, this blog should really focus on expanding our knowledge of natural history and the biological sciences. Be warned, the frank discussion of drugs in this video renders it somewhat NSFW:

Auto mechanics 101

Some of you know that I recently went over to the dark side from Ford to Dodge . . . or as Keith says, "to a truck that has a damn sheep as its logo."

Anyway, there's lots of new stuff to learn about the Dodge diesel engine. Here's a Chrysler training video about the turbo encabulator that I've found really helpful in understanding the dynamics of the new truck's engine.



Hope you find this helpful as well.

A Hunter's Prayer

Dear God, we thank you...

We thank You for this day and for the reasons we are brought together:
For the wild and noble game that we love - and hunt,
and for the energy, courage and boundless love of our dogs,
and for the cold winds and bending sage, and for the rains that pelt man and beast alike.
And for the beautiful guns left by good men long forgotten - who also shared our passion.
And for the paradox of a hunter's life in which he is destined to be misunderstood because
he is compelled to kill a few of what he loves most.
And for the dark and ancient land with all its secrets, for the friends who last a lifetime and
for the awful knowledge that we pass through this life but once - and by this we are
humbled and feel your presence.

Amen.

Charles M. Rucker

Putting Meat on the Thanksgiving Table

Thanks to the Tidball family, and the bounty of Canogacopia.

Opening Day 2009 - PA Furnace Report

As the old timers say, the success of a hunt comes down to preparation (and breathing through one's mouth). My preparations for opening day 2009 were extraordinary. By any measure.

I finally honed the Ruger .243 to a one inch grouping at 100 yds. Check. I and my kin folk gussied up the ground stand in the Valley of Death and opened a new shooting lane. Check.

View from my well prepared stand

To prevent myself from getting lost, I left a single ribbon of flagging at the hemlock stand where I always make the wrong turn. Check. Ground the coffee before going to sleep. Check. Piled clothes in kid's play room so I wouldn't disturb anyone at 4:30 am. Check.

I woke as planned at 4:30. Check. By 5:11 I was established at my stand in the Valley of Death, enjoying the night sounds and solitude. Check. At 5:30 I congratulated myself for the extraordinary preparations. Check. Congratulated myself again at 6:15. Check. Twighlight arrived sometime after 6:30 and I treated myself to another round of self-congratulations. Check. At 7:00 I looked up to see an eight point buck just 10 yards in front of me, crossing the trout stream. Check. More kudos for a fine job in preparing for this inevitable moment. Check.

Inevitable arrival of Moby Buck.

Gun still in lap. Hmm. Deer winds me and turns, trotting across Valley of Death. Check. Confident in my preparations, I do not raise gun, instead allowing Moby to cross the meadow and disappear into the woods on the far side. What? Give him time and he will return I reason. Ok...

View from well prepared stand from 7:01 am to 5:00 pm

Quality Deer Management

The Deer Hunter in 10 Seconds

If it's brown it's down, baby

Yesterday I had the distinct pleasure again to spend a day afield with Winchell, Tidball, and Stedman.

First came a duck hunt on the big water--or "nice habitat," as they say in Maine. Big Country. Big Water.

Anyway, Josh managed to scratch down a black duck. I was dazzled by the reflection of the sun off his newly Lemon Pledged stock, and so I missed the companion duck. I blame Tidball.

At 10am we had had enough of that . . . cow manure, as Keith would say. Honestly, I was enjoying myself, and enjoying the aesthetic pleasures of the open water, and communing with nature, and all that, but Keith was getting a bit antsy. Almost (but not quite) "I think I'll take a walk" antsy.

So we adjourned to a deer drive on the Tidball plantation. I oranged up and was posted on the north hedgerow adjoining the Parks farm. Stedman and Tidball meanwhile drove through the gully and other hotspots, leading Keith to take a 150 yard shot at Moby Buck. Sad to say, Keith missed that shot, and was forlorn for the rest of the day. Not suicidal forlorn, mind you, but "interrupt me with heavy sighs when I'm drinking my scotch at the end of the day" kind of forlorn. But I digress.

So Keith forlornly followed Moby while Stedman split off and climbed into a tree stand in the "hickory woods" to my east. Somewhat later Tidball made a push along the cornfield to our south, and then did a big loop upwind from us and picked me up at my hedgerow hideout. Together Keith and I continued the push past Stedman's stand eastward.

At this point Keith busted a BRUISER of a bunny out of the brush. The lagomorph came to rest five feet away from me, eyeing me cautiously.

"SHOOT, GODDAMMIT! SHOOT!!" came the orders from the Cottontail Commander.

"But I am armed with but a 12 gauge slug gun, kind sir," replied I, "loaded with a sabot slug, which I fear will do much bodily harm to the wittle fellah if the sabot finds its mark."

Tidball considered this fact for a moment, and allowed the hapless hare to pass.

Along we went, hither and yon, aided by our portable electronic devices to position each other in the putative paths of runaway whitetails. Keith and I continued driving, and I broke a mighty sweat. But push on we did, up the gully, through the thicket, and into the corn. Rich waited patiently for results, but alas! none were had.

By now it was three o'clock, and we were mightily fagged out by our exertions. Conferencing along a path in the woods, a doe suddenly burst out of the woods, into the pasture, and (I exaggerate slightly for dramatic effect), STRAIGHT INTO THE PATH OF THE ONCOMING STEDMAN.

"By golly, there goes one now," says I to Tidball.

"Assuredly this is so," he agreed. "Shoot, Richard, shoot!!" we cried in unison.

But it was not to be. Young Rico was unable to pick up the speeding deer through his peripheral vision, and she escaped to be prey on another day.

At this point, Tidball announced his intention to go "play host" with his Winchell guests. I believe that there will be a forthcoming squirrel hunting tale authored by one Jonah Winchell, and so I will say no more about it. But I am looking forward to reading it. (PSSST, JONAH, if you're reading this. Don't forget what we talked about: film, insults, sarcasm, how bad your dad's shooting was, etc etc etc. Good lad.)

Tidball assigned me to the double wide honeymoon stand for the late afternoon rush, whereas Stedman went northward somewhere in the general vicinity of the gully. I saw nothing for the rest of the day, whereas the Vicar of State College passed on a lowly six point buck.

Later, when I scoffed at the idea of passing up a legally antlered deer, I was informed by the farm's proprietor that he is engaging in something called . . . "Quality Deer Management," or some such thing.

Humphhh. I informed the farm manager that I would be quite content with a lowly six point buck, or a forkhorn for that matter. Hell, a two point spike would suit me just fine! "If it's brown, it's down," says I to the farm proprietor.

He just smiled sagely and replied, "It's a good thing you didn't shoot anything like that here today." When I pushed him slightly, as is my wont (and as an aside, I have heard, incidentally, that trophy bucks store mercury and organochlorines in their racks--but can't seem to recall the source at the moment), he told me that I would not have been disowned for shooting a lowly-racked buck, but I would have been relentlessly ostracized to the death (As in Forever) had I done such a crass and tasteless thing.

I replied in turn that I was verily glad not to have committeth such a grave and venal sin.

At day's end we retired for drinks, food, and USDA home movies. Yes, you read that right. USDA HOME MOVIES.

Don't ask.

Anyway, I bid my adieu at night's end, and retired toward Trumansburg.

This morning, I woke up at 5am, drank coffee until 6 am, climbed into the crow's nest at 6:30 am, and killed this buck at 7 am. I "reverse bloodtrailed" him just for fun after I found him 25 yards away from where he was standing when I shot him.

If it's brown it's down, baby.

It's not a trophy bunny, but it will do

Josh's Field Dressing Tips #1

I had the distinct pleasure to share a Thanksgiving table with the Tidball and Winchell clans yesterday, and inevitably the conversation turned to hunting.

Joshua shared with us some of his considerable connaissance de la chasse he has picked up over the years, including this nugget:

"When field dressing an animal, you should breathe through your mouth"

which apparently aids in the avoidance of any unpleasant smells that may emanate from the body cavity of recently deceased game animals(s).

Thanks for the tip, Josh!! as you might imagine, when shared over Thanksgiving turkey, this hint from Heloise provided the Thanksgiving revelers who were assembled for the occasion an opportunity for much mirth and merriment.

Breathe through your mouth
and oh yes, don't forget your blaze orange bump cap

North is north

Best of luck to all you intrepid deer hunters as gun season gets underway.

...and if you have any troubles finding your way back to the truck after searching for 'ol mossy horns, just remember these words of hard-earned wisdom from Dr. Dirt.

North is north.

Grousers Sartorial Shots

Ducks Unlimited Seneca Falls Chapter Annual Banquet

Please attend, my fellow Grousers. Dec 9, 2009.

Trick or Treat

Took advantage of a few free hours on Halloween day, heading to "Cobert Covert," with the sole objective of stumbling into timberdoodles. This was my first hunt since Wisconsin, and Lilly worked well, Jim's new cow bell audible at all times. We bumped one bird at the end of the covert, but marked it well. Lilly locked up, a solid point. Tweet. Bang. I dropped the little fella into a tangle of multiflora rose. Just when I was preparing to crawl into the brambles Lilly made a nice retrieve. I breathed a sigh of relief. My pup had returned to her old ways. We celebrated by adding Andy's sticker, now earned, to the bumper.

archery buck

Sorry to post over the "Bone Collector" jack-o-lantern, but I needed to chime in with some deer lore too. I'll keep it short. I filled both my archery tags this week... a nice doe on Thurs and a respectable 7 point buck yesterday. The buck was my first left-handed archery buck. I missed the charmed giant (huge 10 or 11 point) earlier in the week, and decided "freezer first," at least this time.

For the full story, go here.